Mom1

Mom2

My mother used to be the sweetest woman in the world. So why in her sixties has she turned truck driver on me? Mom visited me recently from San Diego and I noticed behavioral changes early in the week. Spitting more. Whistling at construction workers. And when I took her picture one morning, she held up this mug with a sarcastic grin. Is she being passive aggressive or just downright lewd? Then when she returned home to San Diego, she sends me this disgusting phallic image taken from her backyard garden, writing, “Thanks for your hospitality last week. Look at the enormous squash I came home to.” Gross MOM! Keep it up and I’ll make sure someday your nursing home’s water heater “breaks down” every Sunday like clockwork.