It’s funny when you see a dog barking and the owner’s like, “Oh I know, Sparky, I know,” like they know. Truth…you don’t know. Right now your dog probably wants to dry hump a beanbag chair or shit out a spool of twine. Or maybe he wants to know why people keep talking to him like he’s a friggin’ idiot. Whatever’s going on in that pea-brained dog head of his, I’m sure you don’t know what it is, so don’t tell him you know. He doesn’t understand you. And If he did, he’d probably tell you why he’s barking.